I thought you had a mission?
Me: Yoga, Walk Bella, Meditate, Read, Ride my motorcycle.
Sister: Sounds like a vacation.
Me: What did you think I was going to be doing?
Sister: I don't know...I thought you had a mission?
This is an excerpt from the conversation I had on the phone with my sister, Theresa, yesterday...or the day before, they all feel the same right now. I laughed, kind of a nervous laugh, before saying something like "my mission is the same as it has been all along; spend the year exploring new opportunities, study more yoga and seek to be as emotionally, mentally and physically healthy and happy as I can be. Oh, and to check out new climates and areas along the way...thus, the reason I'm in Tucson right now." Truth be told, it gave me another opportunity to reconnect with what I am doing here, having made it through me first week...fairly unscathed.
I say fairly unscathed because it has been challenging for sure. I don't know anybody here. I don't have a job. I don't have Internet or TV in my minimally furnished studio apartment. I practice yoga twice a day and even with the aforementioned activities, I still find myself with about 10 hours left to do....what exactly? Now, for those who find themselves occupied (work, family..) most every hour of everyday like I have for the past 22 years, this might sound like a dream day. But when you have spent more than a few months, like I've been blessed to do, not occupied with work, family or other commitments, this kind of day can present a challenge or two. At least for me. And what I have learned about myself in only 10 days (ok, there has been learning all along) has been tremendous...imagine my oozing self-knowledge when I slink my way back East in a month or so. But, as I said before, it is challenging for me and in some ways this is what I have been training for (spiritual warrior training that is) the past few years of my spiritual journey. In Yoga we learn that when challenges present themselves, you should see them as waves in the ocean and learn to "ride the waves." The good news is that they teach you how to surf, so to speak, first. Your surfboard is BRFWA. Breath, Relax, Feel, Watch, Allow. So, instead of just being sent out into the ocean to bob around, get knocked down, swallow some water and get sand in your underwear, you are prepared for these Tsunamis ahead of time. Thus, somehow you arrive safely back to shore and realize what a friggin' awesome sport surfing is and jump back in again! You stayin' with me?
As I head into Week #2, I am becoming more aware of how easy it is to fill my time for the sake of filling my time and what parts of that I choose to embrace. I am becoming more aware of how difficult it is to savor each moment, even when I truly only have this moment to consider. I am becoming more aware of what community and relationships mean to me and realizing how to more fully embrace that which is me. I am becoming more aware that my meditation and spiritual inquiry over the past few years has made me more aware than I give myself credit for. I am aware that I am aware. So there is a mission for ya.
Back to training camp. Kowabunga dude.
p.s. you can train a whole lot more out here for $4.00/class
(yoga). Just sayin.............
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