With Awareness Comes Choice

Yes, that says transitions, not traditions.  Think about it.  I am.

Tucson is a yoga town.  Many people might think that can be said about their town or city, as yoga studios have popped up on every block in the past 5-10 years.  In fact, in places like NYC and DC, they are as prevalent as drive-through liquor stores are in Southern Maryland!  I just had to get a plug in for my roots somewhere and this seemed as good of a place as any..  Go S'Maryland, Go SMIBS!  OK, again, I digress.  But Tucson really is a yoga town, and by that I mean the lifestyle is embraced both on and off the mat.  The concept of practicing off the mat is at the core of the yogic lifestyle and often is a reflection of the qualities you exert on the mat, or visa verse; can we find compassion for ourselves and others, can we find where we are rigid and soften, can we acknowledge and embrace our connectedness to others, and can we become a warrior when necessary yet recognize when it is time for the peace talks? OK, here is a much simpler way to ...

I first heard this expression when attending S.E.E.D (Seeking Educational Equity and Diversity) training a few years ago.  S.E.E.D   is an amazing program that truly has the ability to bring curricular change, understanding and compassion to any educational institution that chooses to accept its mission. Feel free to check it out.  Anyhow, they were referring to the parts of ourselves that we bring to any group or any discussion; we have our book knowledge and we have our lived experience.  Both are equally valuable and you are encouraged not to check any parts of yourself at the door...very Burkian, if I do say so myself.  I have been thinking about this a lot the past few days as I begin to reflect on this most recent part of my journey.  Is there really a separation of self and shelf?  At some point, doesn't the shelf knowledge have the potential to become your self-knowledge, if you embrace that which you have read or heard?  And finally, are ...

As previously mentioned, I have been avoiding writing this piece.  I avoided starting it...and I have been avoiding ending it.  The problem is, I could probably keep writing the middle and call it a book before ever running out of material or motivation.  But for many reasons, I am going to resist going in this direction any further for now.  The first is that I have been asked to write a letter to the Burke community, since my retirement was already announced about four weeks ago by the Head of School and it is probably long overdue.  I feel like once I write this letter it will officially be time for me to close this chapter.  In addition, despite not being a writer,  I have come to love writing...at least this Blog.  I'm pretty confident I would still loathe writing an English essay!  Regardless, there is so much that I want to write about and only so many hours in a day.  Thus, outside of general references that I'm sure will come up...

And what dos this have to do with Yoga?   Well, everything has to do with Yoga, if you ask me. Feel free to connect the dots, if you see any.  Okay, I was riding my motorcycle to go hiking the day before Thanksgiving and yes I had my helmet on and yes I had my face shield down and NO, I was not wearing flip-flops this time.  I'm enjoying the ride at about 50 mph when WHAM, something stings my face.  Shocked that I didn't crash at this point and every hair on my body sticking up, I glance in the side mirror.  There is something black stuck to my face! Now, as my sister will tell you, I am the wimpiest tough girl she knows.  Trying not to wreck, I breath deeply and focus.  I take my hand under my face shield and swat away the black creature.  It doesn't move.  Shit!  My eyes focus back on the road- breath Pam, breath.  I need this thing off my face-NOW.  My hand returns under the helmet.  I touch it and swat harder. It fall...

"...........is for good men to do nothing."  Edmund Burke I have thought about and spoken this quote many times over the past twenty two years.  It is the one I pull out of my pocket most often when other references to the man himself have done little to solve the mystery of who, in fact, was Edmund Burke.  They usually nod and and go "oh yeah, I've heard that quote before."  Quickly moving on past British Parliament, I begin to brag about the institution itself.  But, I digress.  What I wanted to say is that when I have been thinking of this quote lately, what has come to mind for me is similar famous quotes:  "You gotta know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em, If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem, and anything you can do, I can do better!"  Good lord Pam, where are you going with this?  Stay with me.  It has to do with passion, awareness and letting go of ego. The journey: When I started teachin...

I have been putting off writing this post for a few weeks and not quite sure why.  In fact, I was just about to click on Netflix when I decided that now was the time.  I wondered why now?  Was it the fact that I just got off Facebook and the last twenty something posts I scanned were Burke alumni or faculty OR was it the fact that it is Thanksgiving and Burke is up there in my top 3 reasons to be thankful OR was it the fact that when I Skyped my nephew in Afghanistan this morning and told him I would not be returning to Burke, he said "But you sure had a good time there, didn't you?", to which I replied "I grew up there Brian."  So now is the time to tell you about the rest of that conversation and to attempt to pay tribute to a special place that taught me, nurtured me and allowed me to grow......and continues to support that growth, even in absentia. This has the potential to be a very long piece as I spent 22 years of my life at Burke and could not possibly...

November 23, 2011 CULTIVATING THE GROUND FOR JOY How do we cultivate the conditions for joy to expand? We train in staying present. In sitting meditation, we train in mindfulness and maitri: in being steadfast with our bodies, our emotions, our thoughts. We stay with our own little plot of earth and trust that it can be cultivated, that cultivation will bring it to its full potential. Even though it’s full of rocks and the soil is dry, we begin to plow this plot with patience. We let the process evolve naturally.

Without Internet or television my first two weeks I found myself thoroughly reading the Tucson Weekly or at least thoroughly perusing the "weekly happenings" section.  The last page, like many top quality newspapers, included both a crossword and Sudoku puzzle.  I decided to start with Sudoku.  Unlike the Sudoku for Dummies puzzles that can be found in the master bathroom of my home in Silver Spring, this one was by Will Shortz (NY Times Crossword Puzzle dude) and was given 4 out of 5 stars indicating a significant level of difficulty.  While not Mensa status, I ain't no dummie.  So, I sat down and got busy.  Scanning the puzzle rather quickly, I assumed at least one number would be a gimmie.  I scanned again.  And again. And again. Then, I scanned more slowly.  And again.  And again.  Are you freaking kidding me...not one gimmie???  So I stared really hard; went north to south, east to west, 1-9 and from 9-1.  Nothing!...

I sat down to write an entry before heading out on a hike and opened my e-mail first.  I thought that I had already unsubscribed to the horoscope portion of Daily Om but obviously I did not.  Good thing because I literally could not have said it better.  Om, Om and AUM! Promise of the Journey Leo Daily Horoscope Daily Om "You may feel meditative today, with a desire to reflect and ponder your life journey. You may be questioning your spiritual path or considering some new goals to add a greater sense of fulfillment to your life. If you can set aside some quiet time to honor this calling, you should be able to expand your awareness and discover valuable insights about yourself. One thing you may want to remember is that you don't need to have all the answers today. While you can certainly begin exploring your thoughts and feelings and thinking more about your dreams for the future, you can also embrace the process of personal discovery and savor each step of the jou...

Sister: So what do you do all day?  Me:  Yoga, Walk Bella, Meditate, Read, Ride my motorcycle. Sister: Sounds like a vacation. Me: What did you think I was going to be doing? Sister:  I don't know...I thought you had a mission? This is an excerpt from the conversation I had on the phone with my sister, Theresa, yesterday...or the day before, they all feel the same right now.  I laughed, kind of a nervous laugh, before saying something like "my mission is the same as it has been all along; spend the year exploring new opportunities, study more yoga and seek to be as emotionally, mentally and physically healthy and happy as I can be.  Oh, and to check out new climates and areas along the way...thus, the reason I'm in Tucson right now."  Truth be told, it gave me another opportunity to reconnect with what I am doing here, having made it through me first week...fairly unscathed.   I say fairly unscathed because it has been challenging for sur...

Even though I am still a baby blogger,  I think it is fair to say that each time I have sat down to write a blog entry, a title has immediately come to me.  Not today.  However, in the middle of meditation this morning and then again during noon yoga, two brilliant ideas came to me.....but I was in the middle of meditating and yoga class, without a computer.  Go ahead, insert joke here.  Anyhow, by the time I made it to my new favorite coffee shop in the middle of Tucson ( Sparkroot ) I was out of ideas.  So, I decided to just go simple today and tell you about my journey: •Left DC on 10/26 with my good friend Maia, my shih-tzu Bella, my motorcycle (still to be named) and whatever would fit in my car. •Over 4 days we crossed Virginia, West Virginia, Tennessee, Arkansas (insert joke here...or I will), Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico and Arizona and landed in Tucson on Saturday, 10/29. *Pretty important piece of information here; my first motorcycle trailer bi...

Two weeks ago I listened to a keynote speech delivered to 28 high school student-athletes at an awards ceremony at Georgetown University.  The messenger: A Georgetown Alumni and Positive Coaching Alliance Trainer.  His message: "I'm not going to give you any advice tonight. Why?  Because what I realized as I was preparing for this speech is that while most of our parents/guardians, coaches and teachers do give us great advice growing up, we are unable to recognize its value until we have had the life experience that mirrors the message."  Translation:  You'll get it later, recognize its importance and say "ah, that's what my blank were trying to telling me."   Sometimes we just have to be ready for the message. Around midnight last night I watched the  2005 commencement speech that was delivered to students at Stanford University.   A very dear friend of mine had told me earlier in the evening what an impact it had on her and she w...

"Wow Pam, that takes a lot of courage."  I have heard this line many times in the past two weeks as I have shared my plans of uprooting and heading cross country for a few months.  Each time I hear it,  I laugh a little, shrug my shoulders, raise my eyebrows and say "really?"  Usually the person follows up the initial comment with something like "many of us would like to do what you are doing but...," and then the blanks are filled in with anything from "but I have a family now, or but I just started a new job, or but I don't think I could, or just but..."  No one really ever says "I would love to do that but I don't have the courage."  So I ask myself, why do they say to me that it takes courage? What are they really trying to say, about my experiences or their own?  I always find myself engaging in a conversation with them (or myself) about the nature of courage, and it is no big surprise but having courage isn't as strai...

My mother used to always say "I'm not rushing, I just move fast."  That woman could do more, know more, live more and love more in any given day than ANYONE I have ever known.  Period.  End of story.  I know I'm biased, but it is true.  Since we spent quite a bit of time together, I was able to witness the number of ways this could play out on any given day.  I would watch her prepare the most wonderful breakfast, say soft-crabs and scrambled eggs, sit with the two or ten of us there, be entirely present enjoying the meal and conversation and before we could even clear the dishes, she was asking what we wanted for dinner.  I used to stop her and say "Mom, slow down...enjoy the moment," and she would look up at me, continue to do whatever she was into next ( making strawberry daiquiris for the day....for twenty!) and say "I'm not rushing Pamela, I just move fast."  Each time this happened, I experienced  a combination of admiration and contemp...

More later....get it?  That's for you Sean Casey.  Seriously though, more later.

There is a reason that one of my favorite quotes is "Life's too serious to be taken seriously."  Because it is.  Unfortunately, and despite the fact that I have it front and center on my Facebook profile page, I had forgotten this for a while.  The good news is that I recently remembered this little fact and oh the joys of living once this resonates within. For those of us who have experienced a significant loss in our lives or dealt with extended periods of grief and suffering, the heavy heart or burden of seriousness has been a constant companion--or not.  Despite the number and magnitude of "growth" opportunities that have come my way, I made it through those difficult years pretty well and somehow never really did lose my sense of humor or perspective on life.  In fact, it was during those most difficult times that I somehow drew strength from it and adopted the above quote as well as "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade (or margaritas)" as ...

As I sit here sipping coffee, I contemplate the nature of just how powerful a change of scenery is for me in my healing and growth process--my spiritual journey and otherwise.  It should not come as a big surprise to me as Kripalu provided a similar experience last year, albeit very different in many ways. And when I say scenery, I'm realizing that I actually mean people, places and things.   Within hours, and maybe even minutes of arriving on Whidbey Island, my body and mind began to go through a series of visceral changes; heart rate and respiration rate slowed down, racing thoughts decreased and clarity of mind increased and my zygomaticus muscles (my cheeks) began to rise and the smiles and joy have only continued. Imagine my delight over the next few days when I find the perfect bench for meditation, attend a local yoga class with just four people, attend a Kirtan (sacred call and response chanting from India) in that same studio last night with 25 people and am remi...

Apparently, quite a lot.  First of all, for those of you that knew I was heading out to the Seattle area for vacation, I am actually not on Bainbridge Island but Whidbey Island.  Quite a difference.  I found out this information at the exact same time that I found out that the bus that I was on, the one I thought was driving me directly to Bainbridge instead of using the ferry, was actually getting ON the ferry and headed to Whidbey! Thank you to the nice lady who helped me come to this realization.  The good news is that I'm not going to be around kids for the next year to share the obvious intellect that is bubbling out of my brain right now, and it was actually the island I was supposed to be going to. Luckily I am now sitting here in the most beautiful spot, with three of the most beaUtiful people and four lovely creatures (one shih-tzu!), sipping french pressed coffee and being immensely grateful. Prior to this part of the adventure, I was on the plane and cons...

I was so excited to realize I had an outlet, somewhere between Facebook and attempting to write a book, that would allow me to process, share and experience something new at the same time. Thus, the Blog.  Now to be clear, in case the fine young man who first asked me to blog for my school finds himself reading this site, most of the credit does go to him.  It was an exciting thought but too much other stuff; work, coaching, life, just got in the way.  The next bit of credit goes to a good friend who recognized that while I am not really drawn to writing in a journal, I do like to share bits of life with people and was actually doing it on facebook.  She recommended Blogging.  And it just happens to be that the time was right. I have taken a leave of absence from teaching (Dean of Students) in order to lose myself for a year.  Yoga, traveling, reading, learning, loving and laughing.  I am thrilled and blessed for this opportunity and in knowing that if...