Self knowledge vs Shelf knowledge

I first heard this expression when attending S.E.E.D (Seeking Educational Equity and Diversity) training a few years ago.  S.E.E.D  is an amazing program that truly has the ability to bring curricular change, understanding and compassion to any educational institution that chooses to accept its mission. Feel free to check it out.  Anyhow, they were referring to the parts of ourselves that we bring to any group or any discussion; we have our book knowledge and we have our lived experience.  Both are equally valuable and you are encouraged not to check any parts of yourself at the door...very Burkian, if I do say so myself.  I have been thinking about this a lot the past few days as I begin to reflect on this most recent part of my journey.  Is there really a separation of self and shelf?  At some point, doesn't the shelf knowledge have the potential to become your self-knowledge, if you embrace that which you have read or heard?  And finally, are you ever really full of knowledge? By full I mean  as in the Bob Nelson sketch: Guy standing in a bar talking to a cute girl.  He takes a swig off of his drink and spills it down his face and shirt.  "I'm sorry," he says "I must be full!"

You see,  I went to a lecture this summer when I was visiting Whidbey Island.  The speaker was a very popular Sufi, except I hadn't even heard of Sufism. I'm still not exactly sure what it is, even though I just found myself intently searching the web to have some true knowledge (shelf) to back up that which I had experienced (self).  See SUFISM 101.  Ahh...the paradox.

Anyhow, this guy was talking about The Direct Path...his version, for you Sufi's out there.  He basically said we are already full; we contain all of the information, questions, answers and clarity that we seek! We can stop reading and retreating. We are full and even overflowing, he claimed.  Just take the Direct Path and be happy already.  Say what???  It was such an over simplification that it really irked quite a few people in the room, present company included.  However, after rolling my eyes and letting the buzz in the room quiet down, I had an "a-ha" moment.  No, it wasn't that I believe it is merely that simple, though I do believe we sometimes over complicate things. It was that there are times when we can be full and not even know it, or not want to acknowledge it.  You know, like when you have already had about 12 pieces of Sushi and even though there is barely any room at the Inn, you consume the last three so they "don't go to waste." 

I am a teacher but I am also a student.  I love to learn. I love to seek new opportunities.  I brought tons of books with me for this six week stint; there would be so much time to acquire shelf knowledge, I thought. However, at some point, I realized I was full.  In fact, I think I was uncomfortably stuffed when I got here!  When I think back on the past five weeks and wonder what I did with all my time, I realize that I just stepped away from the table for a breather.  Allowing the digestion to take place, I can see more clearly the fruits of my labor.  For me, there is no separation.  I am my experiences.

Gotta go, it's time for dinner--if you know what I mean.