Aparigraha; or in laymens terms, "let go already."
Looking back on my Kripalu journal from teacher training 17 months ago, I realized that my first exposure to truly understanding The Eightfold Path or Eight Limbs of Ashtanga Yoga, occurred the first week in an evening session led by one of my favorite Yogi's, Danny Arguetty. For those of you new to Yoga, the asanas or postures that most people associate with Yoga, are actually the third limb as outlined by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras. The first two limbs are The Yamas and Niyamas, otherwise referred to as restraints and observances. They are outlined very simply in the above link if you are interested, and will probably resemble, in some small way, the principles you already apply or try to apply to living well. Anyhow, the night we were exposed to these principles, we were led in several different exercises of reflection and sharing. When we got to Aparigraha or non-attachment, the exercise was to consider "what no longer serves me?" For me, at the time, fear was the most prominent object to which I was attached. If you have read my previous blog entries, you know that this is something that I have been sifting through my whole life. I made a commitment right then and there that "fear was no longer serving me." The lens with which I was able to now look at my life; relationships, work, living and dying was from a new perspective. Though the struggle remains at times, a struggle, the commitment and progress have remained steadfast. When I find myself grasping too hard or struggling to let go in any aspect of my life, I turn back to the question of whether or not it is serving me, and if not, I try to loosen my grip and let go.
Right before Christmas, I received my pre-training assignments (homework) for the Sacred Lasya Yoga Immersion program I am attending in India in March. Oh, in case you didn't know--I'm going to India! It was a bit overwhelming so it stayed on my desktop until the start of the new year. Among the assignments is an Inquiry Practice; for four weeks live a Yama or Niyama that either inspires or challenges you, choosing a new one each week. To be honest, I didn't choose the first one, it chose me. Returning from my New Years Eve celebration at Kripalu, I was in quite the purge mode. Having started the process before heading to Tucson, I found myself primed and ready to let go of stuff, literally and metaphorically, but now I speak of the literal purge! It was time to rid myself of clothes, furniture and chachkis. The inspiration, I must admit, came from my desire to paint a few rooms in my house and it was going to be much easier without all the stuff in it. I was immediately thrown into the reality of Aparigraha. As I filled 5+ bags of clothes for Goodwill, I had series of very funny conversations with myself about the value of certain items and the struggle of non-attachment: "I know this T-shirt is over 20 years old, but that rugby tournament will go down in infamy. How will I or anyone else remember that day if this t-shirt goes in the dreaded pile?! or "I know I have never had a job where I was required to wear a snazzy skirt and suit coat, but if I happen to get one down the road (not likely) I will already have enough attire for a month and doesn't it just makes sense to be ready?!" Both items went into the pile. This continued for several hours. What exactly are you attached to Pamela? That became the inquiry. When I realized that what I was attached to was either associated with the past or possible future, it became much easier to tackle bigger items, like my bedroom furniture. The furniture was in my parents room growing up. I didn't keep a lot when they passed away, but I did keep this set. It served me well in my new home, physically and emotionally. Yes, I was attached to what this furniture represented, and despite feeling like it wasn't really me and was way too much in such a small space, it was what I needed and wanted. Until now. What I wanted was to paint my room and have it decorated very simply, in a manner that felt like Pam. It was time to get rid of the furniture. Therefore, when my roommates Aita and Farris got their own apartment recently and I asked if they needed any bedroom furniture, I was pleasantly surprised that they said they wanted the large dresser. She had never had a dresser in her college or nursing school days and was very excited about the idea. It made me feel good knowing I was helping someone out and it made letting go much easier than would have been the case if I had sold it on Craig's list. Imagine how it felt when they returned after measuring the room and said they wanted all of it! My furniture was going to a good home. After loading up the truck with the entire bedroom set, I followed them across town to help unload. Halfway across town I realized it was January 5th, Mom's birthday. A smile broke out as I realized that mom would have been pleased with my decision. Even better, I later told Aita and Farris about it. As we got the furniture settled into the bedroom of their new apartment, Aita exclaimed, "thanks Pam's mom!" My heart warmed. I had begun living my Yama for the week; Aparigraha.
Since that time, I have had more conversations with myself and others about what stuff I can let go of as I simplify my home. It is definitely made more difficult by the fact that when I purchased my Great Aunt's house, I inherited much of her furniture. Add in a few things of my parents and the items I already owned and it amounts to a lot of stuff to consider. It has served me well to ask myself what, if anything, I am attached to and why. As my home begins to declutter, so does my mind. I am reminded that what is important to me is always with me in my heart. For me, this realization has made me feel even closer to those I have lost. When you loosen the grip, it is amazing what opens up.
Gotta run. There are only two more days of practicing Aparigraha and at least five more days of stuff to sort through! Good thing that Saucha (contentment) is next on the list.
Jai!
Right before Christmas, I received my pre-training assignments (homework) for the Sacred Lasya Yoga Immersion program I am attending in India in March. Oh, in case you didn't know--I'm going to India! It was a bit overwhelming so it stayed on my desktop until the start of the new year. Among the assignments is an Inquiry Practice; for four weeks live a Yama or Niyama that either inspires or challenges you, choosing a new one each week. To be honest, I didn't choose the first one, it chose me. Returning from my New Years Eve celebration at Kripalu, I was in quite the purge mode. Having started the process before heading to Tucson, I found myself primed and ready to let go of stuff, literally and metaphorically, but now I speak of the literal purge! It was time to rid myself of clothes, furniture and chachkis. The inspiration, I must admit, came from my desire to paint a few rooms in my house and it was going to be much easier without all the stuff in it. I was immediately thrown into the reality of Aparigraha. As I filled 5+ bags of clothes for Goodwill, I had series of very funny conversations with myself about the value of certain items and the struggle of non-attachment: "I know this T-shirt is over 20 years old, but that rugby tournament will go down in infamy. How will I or anyone else remember that day if this t-shirt goes in the dreaded pile?! or "I know I have never had a job where I was required to wear a snazzy skirt and suit coat, but if I happen to get one down the road (not likely) I will already have enough attire for a month and doesn't it just makes sense to be ready?!" Both items went into the pile. This continued for several hours. What exactly are you attached to Pamela? That became the inquiry. When I realized that what I was attached to was either associated with the past or possible future, it became much easier to tackle bigger items, like my bedroom furniture. The furniture was in my parents room growing up. I didn't keep a lot when they passed away, but I did keep this set. It served me well in my new home, physically and emotionally. Yes, I was attached to what this furniture represented, and despite feeling like it wasn't really me and was way too much in such a small space, it was what I needed and wanted. Until now. What I wanted was to paint my room and have it decorated very simply, in a manner that felt like Pam. It was time to get rid of the furniture. Therefore, when my roommates Aita and Farris got their own apartment recently and I asked if they needed any bedroom furniture, I was pleasantly surprised that they said they wanted the large dresser. She had never had a dresser in her college or nursing school days and was very excited about the idea. It made me feel good knowing I was helping someone out and it made letting go much easier than would have been the case if I had sold it on Craig's list. Imagine how it felt when they returned after measuring the room and said they wanted all of it! My furniture was going to a good home. After loading up the truck with the entire bedroom set, I followed them across town to help unload. Halfway across town I realized it was January 5th, Mom's birthday. A smile broke out as I realized that mom would have been pleased with my decision. Even better, I later told Aita and Farris about it. As we got the furniture settled into the bedroom of their new apartment, Aita exclaimed, "thanks Pam's mom!" My heart warmed. I had begun living my Yama for the week; Aparigraha.
Since that time, I have had more conversations with myself and others about what stuff I can let go of as I simplify my home. It is definitely made more difficult by the fact that when I purchased my Great Aunt's house, I inherited much of her furniture. Add in a few things of my parents and the items I already owned and it amounts to a lot of stuff to consider. It has served me well to ask myself what, if anything, I am attached to and why. As my home begins to declutter, so does my mind. I am reminded that what is important to me is always with me in my heart. For me, this realization has made me feel even closer to those I have lost. When you loosen the grip, it is amazing what opens up.
Gotta run. There are only two more days of practicing Aparigraha and at least five more days of stuff to sort through! Good thing that Saucha (contentment) is next on the list.
Jai!
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